1. You will not survive one week without a VPN
When your friends and family are half way across the world and you
absolutely must post the old lady driving a scooter with oven mitts
attached to the handle bars, onto your insta story but China has banned
it. Zen me ban? Or in plain English, what can you do? A virtual private
network will be your best friend — diverting you outside of the Great
Firewall of China and allowing you access to your fave sites —
Instagram, Facebook, Google, SnapChat, YouTube now even Whatsapp?!
Moving to Shanghai
2. Bulk buy tampons
Sorry ladies, but unless you wanna pay a fortune for these tiny
absorbent gems I’d stock up in your home country. Chinese people just
don’t use them so they’re rare to find. This is also why no Chinese
woman will go swimming whilst on her period. Or eat ice-cream, drink
coffee, or even come to work — but that’s another story!
3. Your passport is sacred
As a foreigner you need your passport for literally everything. Booking
and collecting plane tickets, train tickets, bus tickets, hotels,
registering with the police, going to the hospital, renewing your visa,
opening a bank account, getting a sim card, signing a housing contract,
sending money home, collecting race packets for marathons, signing up
for online payment systems such as Alipay and WeChat, registering for
shared bike systems such as Mobike or Ofo. If you lose it, you’re
honestly screwed.
4. Learn Chinese
You can just about get by without knowing any Chinese, or knowing the
bare minimum. Shop owners are fluent in crazy foreigner body language
but it’s well worth your time and money to invest in a tutor. It makes
life more interesting and much easier. There are plenty of options when
you arrive in Shanghai for classes, one-on-one tutors. Or from
experience, get a Chinese boy/girlfriend. Frantically shouting at each
other in Chinglish is possibly the most hilarious thing you’ll
experience — but on a more serious note, their local knowledge and ease
of moving around the City will drastically decrease your stress levels.
5. You are a unique butterfly
People, particularly old people will stare at you and ask to take your
photo. They are more often than not completely harmless. Humour them, or
politely say no by waving your hand gently and shaking your head. If
you wish to practise your Chinese say “bu yao” 不要. This directly
translates to “don’t want” but it’s said enough in everyday language for
them to understand what you mean perfectly. Fancy levelling up?
Challenge them to a staring competition by locking eyes with them. Trust
me, you’ll lose.
6. You might get a tiny bit fat
Unless you have serious self control, those pounds might pile on.
Chinese food, particularly Shanghainese food is heavily seasoned with
sugar and oil. Of course when you first land you want to try every
single delicious and weird thing. Xiaolongbao and dumplings — just yes,
so much yes. Chickens feet and pigs knuckles, maybe skip those.
Traditional breakfast foods, cheap roadside noodle carts, hole in the
wall dumplings stores, hot pot restaurants, all you can eat teppanyaki.
With every single worldly cuisine available you might wanna turn to one
of Shanghai’s free fitness communities to balance things out.
7. You might get lazy too
Last night I scrolled through my phone looking for something tasty to
eat. I’ve almost forgotten how to cook and haven’t had a single
ingredients apart from milk in the fridge for weeks. With the incredibly
convenient and cheap delivery services I placed an order and my freshly
made dinner was in my lap within 9 minutes. Granted that was a record
breaking time, but seriously even I couldn’t believe that. China’s
millennials are really embracing the digital platforms for purchasing
online and with delivery as fast and as cheap as it is I don’t blame
them. You can order clothes, food, cigarettes .. I’m not even gonna keep
listing, you can buy everything online and get it delivered to your
door.
8. But you will have bum muscles of steel
Your squat will be on point — especially if you plan to travel within
China during your stay. Most traditional toilets are “squatters” and you
just need to man up and do it. It’s really not that bad. Shanghai has
fewer and fewer of these toilets thanks to their international status
but if you travel to local villages or even the outskirts of Beijing
this is not the case. Always carry tissue, hand sanitiser and wet wipes
with you if you want to remain a sane sanitised person.
9. There are only two seasons
Summer and Winter. The humidity is so intense that you will immediately
break a sweat when you step outside. The only way to survive the
Shanghai summer is to chill by a rooftop pool, head over to beach it up
in Hong Kong or go river hiking. Scorching summers will send locals into
air-conditioned shopping malls, but I’d recommend escaping the City and
spending the summer cooling off instead of dying in the heat. Winter is
equally frustrating, no snow and no central heating leaves Shanghai at
odds. Make the most of this weather by visiting the ice sculptures in
Harbin or taking refuge in your favourite coffee shop.
10. Shanghai is the most incredible City in the world
Sometimes daily life is complicated and confusing but the culture will
warm your heart and give you a deeper meaning to life. The opportunities
that expats get in Shanghai are phenomenal — the community supports
foreigners in ways you can’t imagine and you can experience local and
foreign culture in terms of food, travel, art, sports, architecture,
education and modern trends. Shanghai is always one step ahead of the
game.
The Wall